Starting new book brings on frustration…

How many times have I spoke about the many books going on in my head? Well add a new one. Why is it being a writer messes with your head? You see something or hear a song or even just trip over something and suddenly there it is. Well that happened to me this past Saturday.

I was sitting on my couch looking at my book sites when I was suddenly drawn to my book page. My Christian romance “With All My Heart…” has done fairly well and I’ve received some good reviews. Suddenly my heart started pounding and my mind whirling. Even before I finished “With All My Heart…” I had an idea for book two. This is a series called “Lean On Him” and the whole series is based on leaning on your Faith. Finding the answers through Him.

So there I was starting a new word document and before I knew what was happening I was 2000 words into the new book. Amazing how it just poured out of my fingers. My son sat beside me on the couch laughing at me. He said I was going to tear up the keys on my laptop. I didn’t even realize I was so immersed in the writing. 

Here is a very unedited excerpt. Let me know what you think. I can take it good or bad.

Randy came back to the current from his daydream. He felt her weakly try to squeeze his hand. He looked up and saw her looking over at him. Her eyes were only barely open. He stood up and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Hey baby. Do you need anything?”

“Only you here with me.” She tried to smile but failed. “You look tired. Why don’t you try to rest?”

“I’m not leaving you. I will be here for you if you need anything.” He felt his heart hammering in his chest. It was odd the feeling he had. It was as though he knew this was the last time they would talk.

“Randy, will you hold me. I just need you to hold me tight. I’ve missed your bear hugs.” She looked up at him and made another attempt to smile.

“Anything for my girl.” He leaned over and gently pulled her into his arms. She tried to put her arms around him but she was too weak. He hugged her as tight as he could without hurting her. It was heavenly to hold her in his arms. He’d missed this too. She was his heart, his soul mate. What would he do without her?

“I love you so much.” Her voice trembled as she spoke.

“I love you too baby.” He felt her tears dampen his shirt. “Don’t cry, it will only make you start coughing.”

“I just needed this time with you. Will you do something for me?”

“You know I will do anything thing for you.” He pulled back so he could look in her eyes. She settled back on the pillow.

“I love you and I’ve enjoyed every moment we’ve had together. We have two beautiful girls to show for the love we’ve shared. I want you to be happy. Promise me that you’ll love again. I don’t want you to lock yourself in the house. I want you to find love again and to marry a woman to help with the girls and to love you. This is my daily prayer.”

His tears came in a steady stream now. “Rachel you’re my love and my heart. How can I love anyone like I love you? I can’t even think about that right now.”

“I know, but I want you to think about it later down the road. You and the girls need a good woman to take care of you. Promise me you will open your heart to love again. Promise me.” She squeezed his hand.

“Ok Rachel. I promise that if my heart feels love again I will think about it. Nobody will ever take your place.” He reached out and stroked her cheek feeling the wetness from her tears.

“I will feel better knowing you’re happy again.” Her heart was heavy knowing they would not grow old together and do all the things they’d talked about.

“I’ve been happy enough with you to last a lifetime. I’ll have the girls to keep me busy and happy.” She’d made him quit saying things like ‘you’re going to be fine’ or  ‘don’t talk like that.’

She felt her breathing get harder. It was only a matter of time now. “Baby, it’s getting close, I feel it.”

“Do you want me to get the doctor? Are you in pain?” He went to get up but she pulled at his shirt.

“Don’t leave. Let’s just be here together. I’m not in pain. I actually feel like I’m relaxing.” She looked up at him and saw her eyes were more rested than she’d looked in over a week.

“What’re you feeling?” He wanted to make sure she was comfortable.

“I’m having a little harder time breathing. I feel a little heavy in my limbs. But I’m so at peace.” She did smile that time and it was the most beautiful  smile. He noticed that her heart monitor was acting weird. The beats were getting further apart. Her breathing became a little more labored.

“Baby, let me call the nurse. She can give you something for the breathing.” He reached for the nurse’s button but she shook her head.

“Don’t Randy. Let’s just have this moment together, not with nurses and doctors. Just us.” She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep shuddering breath.

“Ok, if that’s what you want. I love you so much. You’re my soul mate. I know God made us for each other. Nobody can take your place.” He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. His voice was breaking up with emotion.

“I feel the same way sweetheart. I will save a place for you in Heaven. I know that one day we’ll be back together. That’s what’s so wonderful about being saved. This is not goodbye.  It’s just ‘see you in a little while’.” She closed her eyes again and a single tear slipped from one eye.

He got up and maneuvered himself so he was lying beside her and he pulled her into his arms. She laid her head in the crook of his arm. He savored every moment he could with her.

Quietly she spoke, almost so low he had to listen hard. “Randy, I love you and I’ll see you again my love.” She got very still and he noticed her breathing slowed. He knew it was close.

Then the heart monitor alarm went off and he knew she was gone. He leaned his head down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you again my love.” Tears burst from his eyes as he held her.

Well, that’s just a snippet of a portion of the manuscript. As I said it’s a very rough draft. I will tell you this, I cried for most of the writing so forgive any smudged letters 🙂

As always, good writing and May God Bless You…

2 thoughts on “Starting new book brings on frustration…

  1. What a beautiful story beginning! I experience the same feeling that the words flow from my fingers while I write. It’s like watching a movie play out before my eyes. May God bless your writing in the lives of many readers.

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