Category: fear

The mind of a writer!

The road we take as a writer is not always beautiful and lyrical. Most of the time it’s frustrating, nail biting, and down right scary. As I sit and watch the light mist fall outside my den window, I ponder what makes a good writer, what makes a bad writer?

The mind of a writer takes on several layers. A writer can swing from one emotion to another rapidly. It’s funny how quickly things change in the mind of a writer. I know personally I have had an idea about how a book would go and suddenly halfway through it takes a different turn. Sometimes I sit back and say “Wow, didn’t see that one coming” then I laugh to myself, why would I say that knowing it came from my own mind. Sometimes I think I have two brains, one the inner writer and two the outer person.

As a writer you usually see a story out of the simplest thing. I picked up a beautiful bright yellow leaf and looked at it. My mind exploding with possibilities. I traced the veins with my brain, suddenly thinking about a story line about the road less taken or maybe even a story line of the winding roads of life. Yep I got all that from a leaf.

Last night I was helping my son feed the dogs and he picked up a bowl outside and grabbed a slug. He immediately said, “Gross!” I immediately thought of a story about a person being a complete slug and how they pulled themselves out. This being thought of as I showed my son what happens to slugs as salt is sprinkled on them. Now that’s scary.

At Christmas time I get nostalgic and that brings on a wave of new writing possibilities in my mind. I can’t seem to stay on the same piece of work, I’m constantly swinging from one to the other. My mind saying you’ve got to do this, not that.

Don’t get me started on how music effects my writing. I have a long writing playlist. I use this while writing. It inspires me. It ranges from classical, country, classic rock, love, and just plain crazy. That might be my next blog post, the playlist of a writer.

Well, I’m through rambling. Aren’t you glad? As always good writing and if it comes through your head, write it down immediately and spread it into a story. You never know. May God bless and keep you.

Three cup Monday!

Have you ever had a day where you just wanted go just climb back in the bed and cover up your head? You know you have, so go ahead and raise your hand. This was one of those days. I dragged myself out of the bed at 6am. And dragged is the best way to describe it. I started with a early cup of coffee, drinking it almost in three gulps.

My son’s bus usually runs at 6:42 on the dot, well not today. She ran at 6:40 and guess who was not out there. Yes, my son. We were opening the garage door as she pulled off from the driveway. I stood there going, “This is not the morning for this to happen.” We walked back into the house, both of us properly upset. My husband of course being a man said, “You should have been out there earlier.” Well after the look me and my son gave him, he did not make any more comments on that.

So, usually after my son gets on the bus I have a leisurely breakfast and then I get on my laptop to blog. Well, this morning I had to get a quick shower and drive my son to school. I’m not a morning person, so sitting in school traffic both ways was not my morning plan.

Well, I walked back in the door and grabbed my coffee cup. I have got to try to get with the program. Oh, and my son has decided to try out for basketball today, which means I have got to get him an appointment for a physical today! Like that’s gonna happen.

Well, hope your day is going better than mine. But I shouldn’t be whining. At least I woke up this morning and was able to get out of bed. SO many people can’t.

Have a great day and May God Bless you.

Well if you have read my profile, you know I’m a children’s minister. It has been a wild ride I can say that. There’s never a dull moment. You go from laughing to amazement to fear in just a few moments. When God made me He added an extra dose of patience, or at least that’s what people say.

Today was one of those days. Usually on Sunday I just teach children’s church which takes place during adult church. Today was my day to also teach the preschool class during Sunday School. They are just funny. Their attention spans last about five minutes, ten if you are extremely lucky. I thought well I will teach about Balaam and his talking donkey. Thought that would keep their interest, WRONG! I finished the story and they played three sessions of musical chairs. I finally gave in and took them out to the playground. Well being Fall in the south you never know how the temperature will be. Let’s just say the wind was blowing my hair over my head and I was freezing. Not the kids though.

Then children’s church started. Had four visiting children along with my regular wild crew. I have the 1st through 5th grade class. Well the music and worship went well, but the closing prayer was a real hoot. One of the boys decided he wanted to pray, started off well, but by the time he ended you could not hear him. I just grinned and took them back out in the wind.

Everything was going well as the preschoolers class let out and they came out too. The other teacher and me and my helpers were talking watching the kids. I constantly do head counts as it is a horror of mine to lose a child. Well, guess what, I lost a child today. One of the visiting children. His mom came out to pick up her two boys and one came running up but not the other. Well I started calling for him and the other children looked so innocent. That should have been my first clue. The mother and I went inside looking in the restroom and then as we started back outside he walked in smiling totally happy with himself. He had been hiding on the playground.

Needless to say I was beyond upset. I looked at the mother and begged apologies. I guess she went through this a lot because she patted my arm and smiled. I had to sit down. It was not a good feeling.

Some days it comes to either you laugh or you cry.

Have a great night to all.

Stalker! My own personal nightmare…

In my post this morning I was talking about the levels of love. I mentioned obsessive love and touched on my experience with a stalker. I decided it might be helpful to others out there if I told my story. Maybe it will give them the courage to stand up and fight.

It started when I was 16. I met a really nice guy at the local skating rink. Well I thought he was nice. Looks and actions can be very deceiving. Since I went every Friday night we developed a friendship, nothing more or so I thought. He never touched me during those days, only conversation. I enjoyed talking to him. We had a lot in common.

One night I was talking about a Youth party our Church was having. I asked him if he would like to go. I had started to like him and thought it would be alright. He jumped on the chance. Well, he came and had everybody just falling all over themselves to be near him. I have to say he was a very nice looking young man. My parents even liked him. They had met him several times at the skating rink. He asked me that night for an official date. Being I had not been on many dates (I had real over protective parents-not complaining), I told him that sounded great.

We went out for a nice dinner and a movie. At the movie we held hands, but nothing really tipped me off that he was not mentally alright. He gave me a quick kiss goodnight and left after our date. Well, being a 16 year old girl I thought this was great. An older man (he was 19-which seemed older to me at the time) was paying me some attention. We started talking on the phone every night the next week. It was on the fifth night that something seemed different. I had mentioned a friend that was a guy had laughed at a joke I told him. This guy went off the deep end. He started swearing and raising his voice. Well, I told him I was hanging up and that started my nightmare.

He started calling all hours of the day and night. He would rant and rave, then it started getting sexual. He started detailing what he was going to do to me when he got his hands on me. I would hang up and he would call back. He even told my dad the same things. He would tell me what I was wearing when I would go into town. He even a couple of times told me what I wore to school. I was terrified.

My dad called the police and they put a tap on our phone. When the investigator heard this guys conversation, he was mortified. He had my principal at school watching out and I couldn’t go out without an adult. One night we were having a Christmas party and he called repeatedly. He talked awful to anyone who mistakenly answered. I got to the breaking point. I lost weight, I stopped eating. I was scared. He was watching me at a distance, but nobody could catch him.

One day I got home from school and collapsed. Both from exhaustion and complete misery. The investigator ramped up the case. They finally were able to catch him in the act. He was living with his older brother and they played the tapes for him. He called and begged us not to press charges that his brother had a mental disorder. We knew it would be the only way he got help, so we pressed charges. The judge would not allow me in the court room because the guy had implied he would get me there too. My dad went.

The guy was sentenced to two years in prison with mental therapy. He served 18 months and go out for good behavior. Well, guess who was the first person he called. Me! It started again. Well, the investigator was ready and he was put back in prison for 6 more months. After some therapy of my own, I was able to move on with my life.

I’ve not heard back from him. Thank goodness. I want anyone that has had this happen or is having it happen, please get help. People like this are sick and capable of anything.