Crazy things that happen to Accountants!

Well Paula Acton one of my wonderful blog friends suggested it would be funny to list the top 10 funniest deduction requests. So I decided to tell some of the funny things that have happened over the years.

1: I had a lady put down as a dependent a child named “Fluffy Ball” complete with a birthdate but no Social. I just sat and looked at her like “Are you kidding me?”

2: I had a woman ask me if they could claim her husband’s mistress as a dependent. (He was sitting beside her at the time)

3: I have had so many marriage proposals I have quit counting. (Usually these come after I get them a huge refund or straighten out their messes) I always laugh and tell them to get a grip!

4: I had a guy that handed me his list of deductions for his Lawn Care business. It included his ski boat, new pistol and his new hunting rifle. I politely handed it back to him and told him to start over…

5: I had one guy ask me to move into his office because the phone calls and visits were not helping. He had a mess!

6: I am listed in several of my clients wills as the person to find out where everything is.

7: I had one wife that did not like me because her husband kept telling me he loved me. He got nice returns every year and he didn’t realize I was just doing my job.

8: I have one client that calls me his second wife and she agrees with him. I asked him one day if I was on the insurance policy and he just laughed and winked. (Yikes)

9: One client got angry when he owed tax and stormed out of the office. He returned ten minutes later when his wife brought him back to apologize and pay me a big tip for being an idiot. (Her words not mine, but I was thinking it!)

10: I had a lady ask if I could tell from the tax papers if her husband was having an affair. (No!)

11: For some reason most of my clients think I have a degree in Psychology. I did take it in college, but not my major or minor. They will call and want to get advice. I guess I am just too easy to talk to.

12: The best one was when this lady called and asked if I would handle their tax return. I said no problem, we still had a couple of weeks left in the season. When she arrived she asked me to hold the door for her. I was curious so I held the door as she proceeded to bring in ten large plastic bins full of paperwork. I turned to my assistant and smiled. I charge by the hour to separate tax paperwork over the normal stuff. She then proceeded to tell me they had not filed in 8 years. I had to sit down. The bins had everything from birth certificates, prom pictures and bullets!!!

So how many of you are rushing out now to get that Accounting degree. It is totally hilarious how crazy these people can be. I love it. The marriage proposals bother my husband as some of these men are wealthy, handsome men. I just smile and tell him it keeps him on his toes.

Now you know why I have to lose myself in writing. I have to get it off my brain. Some of it can cause nightmares!!!

SO as always, good writing and God Bless!

Tax Season over tomorrow!!!

Well, another tax season is coming to a close. As I sit here in my office putting the finishing touches on yet another procrastinators return I wonder “why do I do this every year?” I guess because I love accounting. There is something about working with numbers and solving problems that just pulls me in. I do wish the IRS would get a handle on how they want to handle Accountants. They are constantly changing things and every year my tax books get thicker and thicker. It can get a little hectic around the office.

I guess that’s why I’m enjoying writing so much. I get to lose myself in another world for a little while every day. Well almost every day. Sometimes I can’t wait to get lost in another person’s life. I will be sitting at my desk figuring out plots and what will happen next. It’s so sad the life and mind (or lack of) of a writer. We are always churning out a story from everything we see. I can see someone on the street that is intriguing and BAM! a story comes to mind. I know, I have a problem, but if it publishes and sells books…

I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday evening, or what’s left of it. Tomorrow it is back to school for my son. He has been out on Fall break. Man that clock is going to be terrible sounding at six in the morning. Oh well, life goes on. Good writing and My God Bless you tonight!

Accounting & Book Sales…

You are excited, you sold a book, you sold many books, you’re making money. Now what? Well, if you have read my profile you know I’m an Accountant by day and by night during tax season. (Grinning broadly). I want to give some advice and I want to make it clear I’m not telling you how to run your publishing business, but this is advice to help you have a good experience.

I was talking with a friend the other day and she was giddy with delight because she’d sold several of her newly published book. She was adding it in her mind and grinning broadly. I was excited for her because I’ve felt the same feeling and it is a good one. But then as her Accountant I had to bring up the inevitable which is royalty tax. Well, she looked at me and said, “Oh my gosh, I hadn’t thought of that. What do I need to do?”

Well, the fact is, those wonderful sales are actually taxable income. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I do want to help you get ahead of the game. Make sure that you save some of those royalty dollars to cover the taxes at the end of the year. But, don’t forget to save all those expenses that you have incurred along the way. Some of those expenses are: publishing software, advertising, fees paid for pictures used for covers or trailers, fees paid to reviewers or editors, and the list goes on.

I want to help my new cyber friends (and I do consider you friends). So here is some free advice. Don’t forget that you will have to pay taxes on those royalties, but don’t forget the expenses that go along with them. If you keep yourself on level ground, then when tax time comes around, you won’t get a horrible surprise. I see it happen every year.